What Did That Traitorous Plume-Plucked Scullion Say?

 

Missed the Constitution by that much.

The man who claims to be in charge made a speech today to some people. Much like his anemic installation ceremony, a mere 200 people could stomach being in his presence today. Sure, much like the January 20th non-event, they claimed it was something to do with the flu. Whatevs.

[Note: The image I chose for this post represents the fact that I appreciate the nostalgia of remembering him as the prevaricating weasel he was four decades ago instead of the prevaricating weasel he is today. Somehow, since he had told fewer whoppers in total back then, he's ever-so-slightly less disgusting. Comb-over notwithstanding. It also is a helpful reminder of just how long this twerp and twerps like him have been destroying our country.]

I can't stand to listen to this creep, so I read the speech, and here are some thoughts on some of the bloviations and lies spewed from this crackpot dictator.

"Tonight, I come to talk about crisis — and opportunity. About rebuilding our nation — and revitalizing our democracy."

BZZZZZT! Wrong. We have a constitutional democratic republic. But they always get that one wrong, so, let's move on.

"The worst pandemic in a century." 

You'd sure like us to believe that propaganda, wouldn't you? Since, you know, it's critical to your power-lusting schemes.

"The worst economic crisis since the Great Depression."

Yes. Caused by you and people like you. Caused DIRECTLY by the government, and nothing else. Pathetic.

"The worst attack on our democracy since the Civil War."

If you're talking about the theft of the election by you and your cadre, then absolutely yes. If you're referring to the protest of January 6th, you are out of your freaking mind and a lousy, lousy propagandist chump.

"America is on the move again. Turning peril into possibility. Crisis into opportunity. Setback into strength."

America was "on the move" with the rip-roaringist economy in living memory before you came in and smashed it all to hell. The only "possibility" and "opportunity" here is for you and your multi-trillion dollar unconstitutional unwanted nonsense proposals to drag us down into utter economic destruction. There is no "strength" in that; only weakness and ultimately, despair.

"America is rising anew. Choosing hope over fear. Truth over lies. Light over darkness."

Rising? We're sinking under the anchor of debt you're saddling us (and our children's children's children) with. Hope over fear? Are you completely insane? All you do is sell fear porn, every day. COVID this, COVID that. Truth over lies? Excuse me while I clean up my vomit. You people are the ultimate liars. You people are the ultimate darkness. I'm so nauseated.

"After 100 Days of rescue and renewal, America is...[l]eading the world again."

Rescue and renewal? Gee, thanks for rescuing us from a great economy and actual global leadership. You're a laughingstock. How's that "world leadership" working out for you along our southern border, Joey? How are things going with our ally Israel? With the Iranians?

"...thanks to the extraordinary leadership [sic] of Speaker Pelosi and Majority Leader Schumer [utterly reprehensible nutjobs] – and with the overwhelming support of the American people – Democrats, Independents, and Republicans – we did act."

Overwhelming support of the American people? Have you been sniffing Hunter's drugs? You are possibly the most unsupported so-called president in history. You had to steal the election, and tens of thousands of dedicated patriots have been working hard every day for more than 100 days to get this heinous wrong righted. If anyone supports you, it's because you've successfully snowed them. As for Republican support...sorry, but no-spine Romney does not count.

"So get vaccinated now."

No thanks. Don't tell me what to do, slimeball. I'll tell you where you can stick your jab.

"Parents are seeing smiles on their kids’ faces as they go back to school."

I'm going to have to call bullcrap on that. Since your asinine rules require kids to be masked, NOBODY is seeing any smiles on any kids' faces. Instead, the children are being abused by your government, and committing suicide in record numbers. That's blood on your hands, you craven milk-livered turd.

"There’s still more work to do to beat this virus. We can’t let our guard down now."

Oh, shut up. The stench of your propaganda turns my stomach. And it is getting so, SO old.

"...we are sending $1,400 rescue checks to 85% of all American households."

Read that as: "We're suffocating you and your progeny in unsustainable debt by forcing you to take a loan that you'll need to pay back to the tune of about 400%, continuing to cause inflation (which is the same as instituting an across-the-board pay-cut that disproportionately harms the poor), all to try to make ourselves look good by "fixing" a problem of our own creation. You're welcome."

"[We're] providing loans to keep small businesses open and their employees on the job."

The small businesses are only hurting because of what GOVERNMENT did to them, boosting their big business cronies while crushing the small businesses as part of the COVID hoax. Shame on you.

"We’re in a competition with China..."

Ha! Yeah, you're not really competing with the CCP that helped put you in office.

"We have to build back better."

Ah, that's the globalist marketing phrase we've read about. Nice.

After rattling off a list of various innovations, he said:

"These are the investments...that only government can make."

Really? Hmm. Interesting take, there, Joe. Seems pretty easy to falsify this declaration that human progress is only possible via our government overlords. Just ask Elon Musk.

"Today, up to 10 million homes and more than 400,000 schools and child care centers have pipes with lead in them, including for drinking water. A clear and present danger to our children’s health."

Leave that to the states, you idiot. Why not address the REAL clear and present dangers to our children's health? I'm talking about the harms of forcing masks onto their faces, and the dangers to children that increased from predators facilitated by government responses to COVID, not to mention your crisis at the border. Yeah, let's not mention that.

"The American Jobs Plan creates jobs...And I am asking the Vice President to help lead this effort."

Huh. How did that "asking the vice president to help lead this effort" work out for you with the border crisis? Oh? She was a no-show? I see. Well, maybe this challenge will be more palatable for her.

"For me, when I think about climate change, I think jobs."

Yeah, me too. I think of all the jobs you're going to destroy with your little "climate change" game. 

"There’s no reason the blades for wind turbines can’t be built in Pittsburgh instead of Beijing. No reason why American workers can’t lead the world in the production of electric vehicles and batteries."

Sure...and there's no reason why the steel used to make the bird executioners fan blades and the materials used in the batteries can't magically become environmentally-friendly resources, right?

"Now – I know some of you at home are wondering..."

Wait...he actually thinks anyone at home is watching this crap?

"By the way – let’s also pass the $15 minimum wage. No one should work 40 hours a week and still live below the poverty line."

No, stupid, let's not dictate the price of commodities like labor. Let's not insert government into the right of free association and the liberty to have mutually agreed-upon transactions by private citizens. Let's not price all the teens and minorities and less-trained people out of a job. Yes, there absolutely are people who should work 40 hours a week (if they choose) and still live below your mythical "poverty line." They're called teenagers. They're called part-timers. They're called free American citizens. Leave us all alone with your job-killing, price-increasing foolish unconstitutional meddling.

"And we need to ensure greater equity and opportunity for women. Let’s get the Paycheck Fairness Act to my desk for equal pay. It’s long past time."

Dude, it's long past time you stopped peddling in myths. The "wage gap" is a long con. You're not fooling us anymore. Just stop.

"Decades ago we used to invest 2% of our GDP on research and development. Today, we spend less than 1%. China and other countries are closing in fast."

Yeah, your bed-buddies are closing in fast because they steal our IP, and you let them. Why don't you stand up to the communists? Oh yeah...because you are one, and they own you.

"Doing nothing is not an option."

Oh, please. Please...PLEASE! I would give up a toe if you people would just. Do. NOTHING. For like, five to ten years. Just do nothing. Please.

"First, access to a good education."

C'mon, man! If you cared about that, you'd abolish the abysmal money-pit failure called the Department of Education, and you'd fully support school choice. But you don't. Because you are anti-education. You are only pro-indoctrination, which is why you only support the programs you support. One of the major planks of the Marxist manifesto, after all, right?

"And then we add two years of free community college."

Free? FREE? You keep using that word. I am absolutely certain it does not mean what you think it means (or what you think the rubes who listen to you think it means).

"The American Rescue Plan lowered health care premiums for 9 million Americans who buy their coverage under the Affordable Care Act."

I didn't fact-check this, but if the ACA lowered healthcare costs this year, that will be a first for the ACA after more than a decade of screwing everybody. Expanding ObamaCare, one the worst and most unpopular laws in American history, can only be bad for America.

"The Affordable Care Act has been a lifeline for millions of Americans – protecting people with pre-existing conditions, protecting women’s health."

Of course, by "lifeline" he means "death sentence," given the true meaning of his horrid euphemism "women's health" (in case your Newspeak app is not updated, "women's health" means "baby murder").

"Health care should be a right, not a privilege in America."

No, you commie. Healthcare is not a right. Taking other people's labor and stuff is not a right.

"It’s time for corporate America and the wealthiest 1% of Americans to pay their fair share. Just pay their fair share."

Fair share. You keep using that word... you know the rest. Some facts:

• In 2017, the top 50 percent of all taxpayers paid 97 percent of all individual income taxes, while the bottom 50 percent paid the remaining 3 percent.
• The top 1 percent paid a greater share of individual income taxes (38.5 percent) than the bottom 90 percent combined (29.9 percent).

Our tax structure is so "progressive" it's about to tip and fall over, you mewling beef-witted gudgeon. Here's just how steep that curve already is:

But you want to squeeze even harder on the people who are building businesses, creating jobs, innovating. What was the name of the last business you ran, Joe? *crickets* No, I said RAN, not profited from. Big difference, Big Guy.

"We’re going to reform corporate taxes so they pay their fair share."

No you're not. Only a complete nincompoop believes that corporations pay taxes. They build your tax hikes into their overhead like any smart person would do, and that's passed onto the consumer as price inflation. Thanks.

"We take the top tax bracket...up to 39.6%."

Ever heard of the Laffer curve? Do you really think that's going to pay for your spending spree? You do realize that even a single one of your trillion dollar shopping lists is the equivalent of spending a million bucks a day for 2,750 years? But yeah, let's make ThE eViL wEaLtHy pay for your communist dreams! That'll work!

"We’re going to get rid of the loopholes that allow Americans who make more than $1 million a year pay a lower rate on their capital gains than working Americans pay on their work. This will only affect three tenths of 1% of all Americans."

That happens to be a million families you're targeting, there. Math is not hard. Meanwhile, it's extremely insulting to insinuate that those people aren't working for their income. You shameless clay-brained clotpole.

"What I’ve proposed is fair. It’s fiscally responsible."

Wait, what is? The ever-increasingly unfair super-progressive tax structure is fair? (See above chart.) Or is the trillions upon trillions of dollars of completely unsustainable and unconstitutional debt "fiscally responsible"? You use words, and by doing so abuse the language and assault the listener, you perfidious beetle-headed varlet.

"When you hear someone say that they don’t want to raise taxes on the wealthiest 1% and on corporate America – ask them: whose taxes are you going to raise instead, and whose are you going to cut?"

False choice, fool. How about you just stop the spending? That's the answer. It would be so easy. But not for a communist.

"Look at the big tax cut in 2017. It was supposed to pay for itself and generate vast economic growth. Instead it added $2 trillion to the deficit. It was a huge windfall for corporate America and those at the very top."

Bullpoop. That tax cut benefitted nearly every American, including my middle class family, and made our economy SOAR like a rocket. And you want to take that away? Just stop it, you tongueless fool-born carbuncle.

"According to one study, CEOs make 320 times what their average workers make."

Other than the covetous, who cares? Income inequality is a totally meaningless metric. It's all a distraction from the inequality that really matters.

"20 million Americans lost their jobs in the pandemic – working- and middle-class Americans."

Thanks to government. No other cause. When are we going to hold you people responsible?

"No responsible American president can remain silent when basic human rights are violated."

Apparently, Joe just said he is irresponsible. Because remaining silent when basic human rights are violated is precisely what he has done by calling the Uyghur genocide nothing but "different cultural norms" and giving the communists a pass. Despicable. And so brazen to say this now. What a clownwad.

"I responded in a direct and proportionate way to Russia’s interference in our elections..."

...by making sure all the right people got paid off, including his son. He still owes the CCP, though.

"Al Qaeda and ISIS are in Yemen, Syria, Somalia, and other places in Africa and the Middle East and beyond."

So, that would be why you, on day one in office, reversed President Trump's wise travel ban on people from terrorism-sponsoring countries like those you just listed? Makes sense.

"And, we won’t ignore what our own intelligence agencies have determined – the most lethal terrorist threat to the homeland today is from white supremacist terrorism."

Oh puh-LEEZE. You and your completely politicized and corrupt intelligence agencies couldn't come up with a more believable boogeyman? Really? Astounding. I mean, you have BLM and Antifa literally setting cities on fire for a year, and you're gonna go with "white supremacist terrorism"? Just wow. 

"It’s estimated that more than 50 women are shot and killed by an intimate partner – every month in America."

This is precisely why more women need to be armed, and able to arm themselves according to the Second Amendment, with no infringement whatsoever — no background checks, no waiting periods, not permitting. All women and men have a God-given and constitutionally-protected right to defend themselves with zero impediments from the government.

"And I need not tell anyone this, but gun violence is an epidemic in America."

You need not tell us because your propaganda arm (the media) reinforces that message every day. Besides, the true epidemic is fatherless families, not pieces of hardware. Regardless, it's a good thing there are over two million defensive gun uses each year in the United States. Infringing on the natural rights of law-abiding citizens to protect themselves will only make things worse.

"In the week between those mass shootings, more than 250 other Americans were shot dead. 250 shot dead."

Please tell us, Joe, how many of those were black-on-black violence perpetrated in cities with the strictest "gun control" laws? How many were in states with the most defensive freedom?

"...a ban on assault weapons..."

Please define "assault weapon." I'll wait. Is it anything like an assault hammer? Assault fists? Assault poison? Assault cheese sandwiches? Assault laws? Assault politicians? Perhaps you should just ban assault and call it good. Covers all the bases. What's that? Assault is already illegal? I see. So...you have some other agenda.

"Anyone from a criminal to a terrorist could buy this [gun] kit and, in as little as 30 minutes, put together a lethal weapon. But not anymore."

Or a hobbyist, or a patriot who knows tyrants like you are the enemy, or perhaps a woman who wants to protect herself and can't wait longer than 30 minutes for your stupid background checks and waiting periods. But not anymore. You abominable tallow-faced ratsbane.

"We also have to get at the root of the problem of why people are fleeing to our southern border from Guatemala, Honduras, El Salvador. The violence. The corruption. The gangs. The political instability. Hunger. Hurricanes. Earthquakes."

Well, that's WEIRD! So, none of those things existed until you were installed? Because, there was no border crisis under President Trump. I guess hurricanes and earthquakes just magically kicked in when you ascended to the throne. Hmm. Maybe God doesn't like you much.

"...beset by man-made and natural made violence..."

Please define "natural made violence." No, really, I'm just super-curious what the heck you are talking about, geezer.

"Immigrants have done so much for America during the pandemic..."

You mean like flooding across the border carrying diseases? Yeah, that has been a real hoot.

"And if we are to truly restore the soul of America – we need to protect the sacred right to vote."

Okay, here's where I have to say I am kind of amazed. Amazed that he was not simply struck down by lightning right then and there, to be nothing more than a little smoking pile of ashes. Amazing.

"More people voted in the last presidential election than ever before in our history..."

Yeah, because many of them were dead, or non-existent, or felons, or underage, or voted late, or were not living in the precinct, or were duplicates, or were trucked in from other states, or were cats, or... 

And most of the votes that were legit went to...drumroll please...President Trump, the legitimate president.

"Congress should pass H.R. 1 and the John Lewis Voting Rights Act and send them to my desk right away. The country supports it."

No, we do not. H.R. 1 is the end of our republic. REPUBLIC (in case you didn't hear me). The end. It is a complete usurpation. Communism. Stuff it, you goatish doghearted pignut.

"As we gather here tonight, the images of a violent mob assaulting this Capitol—desecrating our democracy—remain vivid in our minds. Lives were put at risk. Lives were lost."

They were trying to get you people who were ACTUALLY desecrating the democratic process of our republic to DO THE RIGHT THING and not certify the utterly fraudulent election. So, you kind of have it backwards. As for lives lost...yes, an unarmed white woman, Ashli Babbit (say her name), was shot dead by an unnamed Capitol officer who will not even be CHARGED for her murder. Where is the justice? Oh, and your cronies in the corporate media made up complete lies about the officer who died later from a stroke, claiming it had anything to do with the protesters. Will you call out the irresponsible media? Of course not...they're your propaganda arm.

"The insurrection was an existential crisis—a test of whether our democracy could survive. It did."

Complete Orwellian horsepucky. It was NOT an insurrection. It was NOT an existential crisis. And no, our republic did NOT survive, because you got away with the theft of the election on that fateful day, you degenerate spur-galled lewdster. The only thing that survived was your treasonous treachery.

"Can our democracy overcome the lies, anger, hate and fears that have pulled us apart?"

You tell me, since you're the liar; you're the one spreading hate and fear. You're the one so dedicated to pulling us apart.

Resident Xi Bidet wrapped it all up with the usual bombast and platitude-fest that's to be expected, but every word rung insipidly hollow.

This man is a dark, wicked, professional liar, and a communist through and through. I look forward to the justice that is to come.

* * * * *

My thanks to the assistance of the Shakespearean Insults Generator tonight. I may have overused it a tad, but if anyone is worthy, it's this disgusting usurper in the Oval Office who is defiling my beloved country and shackling everyone I care about.