The 7 Most Annoying Blog Post Features Ever

Have you noticed how many blog posts these days have a click-bait headline that fails to deliver? There's always some number of incredible things that will help you succeed at something or other. It's usually 14 shocking things, or 22 amazing pictures, or perhaps even "17 videos banned from the internet" - whatever that means. It may be a series of images that are promised to be the funniest thing you have ever seen, or be guaranteed to give you "all the feels." They might be 16 essential do's or 9 absolute don'ts. Perhaps it's the 25 best this or the 20 worst thats. And so often, the list is somewhat lame, or woefully incomplete.

Well, this list is not full of shocking facts, nor is it complete, and you are certain to be able to live without it. It won't change your life, get you a better job, or even get you more "likes." But this list does contain some of the most annoying blog post features around:

1) A headline that fails to deliver on its promise. As I said above, nobody likes to be oversold and under-delivered to. After a while, people will get fed up with your crying wolf and stop linking to your pathetic waste of time blog posts (I'm looking at you, LinkedIn community). Tell them what they'll get; be honest about it. If the content can't stand on its own without an overblown, fake, hyped-up headline, maybe it's not really worth posting about. Yeah, I know, you have a quota. But you can do better than that. Isn't that what makes blogging cooler than the MSM?

2) Stating the obvious. So many of these hyped-up blog posts just end up telling you what you already knew. With the incredible glut of information readily available these days, why add to all that noise? Before you post, think about it: does my blog post really contribute in a unique and meaningful way to the topic, or am I just posting to add my voice to the chorus because I like my own voice?

3) Stating the obvious in a boring way. Okay, fine, so maybe your content has been said before, and maybe it is common sense, but maybe your particular audience if full of young, innocent, naive noobs who could actually benefit from your not-so profound wisdom. Great. At least say it in an interesting way. Rehashing old knowledge in a dull way is a great way to make people regret clicking on your miserable link and wasting their precious six minutes. And it's a great way to ensure you don't get your blog post shared.

4) Offering a list of 30 things that requires you to click through 30 pages. These slide show things that make the page reload every time you advance to the next slide make me want to claw at the screen like a rabid animal. I don't care that your advertisers want to get on the refresh rotation with every item on your list. Stop it! I do not have the time or the patience for it. Give me everything upfront on the same page, or forget it.

5) Ads with audio and pop-ups. If I open your page, and some little video on the side bar starts automatically playing, with sound, it's unlikely I will bother reading your blog post. Same goes for pop-ups. I didn't open your site to get assaulted with an audio-visual message; I came to read. Knock it off with the intrusive ads. I get that you need revenue; do it without attacking me, please.

6) Unexpected profanity. How many times have I happily started reading a blog post, only to be suddenly hit with f-bombs and the like? Yes, I understand you have a grown-up vocabulary and you like to use all of the words in it, because you're so tough and sophisticated and enlightened. Fine. But how about an up-front warning? In a world where we are kind enough to post spoiler alerts and MPAA ratings and "explicit content" labels, can't we have the decency to let someone know what kind of language they're in for if they keep reading your blog post? Despite your fashionable worldview, there are still many, many people who do not appreciate vulgarity. Giving a heads up is just good etiquette.

7) What would you add to this list? (See what I did there?)